What are the benefits of teaching responsibility?
Children who are taught responsibility from a young age will become dependable and gain many important skills along the way that will be so helpful to them in their adult life. I’ve seen how-to cleaning videos on YouTube quickly gain millions of views… of all things, simple household cleaning tasks! I can’t help but think that there is an increasing number of kids entering adulthood without basic cooking, cleaning, laundering, etc. skills. Not only are you setting them up for success, but you as the parent will also benefit from teaching responsibility by sharing the workload with your children, which in turn, allows more time for family fun and activities. It’s a win/win, all around!
At what age can you start teaching responsibility?
I would say about the time a child starts walking! There is almost always a little something a child of pretty much any age can help out with, regardless what you’re doing. At 10 months old, my baby would trash his diaper after every change and you should just see him clap his hands in celebration of how awesome he clearly is. It’s the cutest thing! Granted, the younger they are, the more it seems like a chore for you but based on my own experience, the younger you start, the more willing children are to participate as they get older. If children know they are an important part of a team (the family) that works together to get things done and that parents take pride in their helpful contributions, they’ll be much more likely to want to help out. Children NEED to feel useful. Lead them in such a way that they know they are worthy.
How do you apply this to your daily life?
The simple answer is to include your children in everything you do. Take what you’re already doing in your daily life, and break it up into smaller tasks. Then delegate some of those tasks to your children. The first couple years, when they are very young, it will feel like they are doing nothing but slowing you down. But when they are 10 and capable of any of the basic household cleaning tasks and cooking meals on their own, you’ll be so glad you took the time to teach them! Also, this goes without saying, but don’t expect perfection! This is a hard one for me. When my girls got to be about 4 or 5 years old, I would hand them a wet rag to wipe down their bathroom vanity, and I had to work really hard not to grab the rag myself halfway through and just “do it right” real quick. So I would keep my distance or even leave the room entirely while they completed the task and just repeat this in my head, “It can’t get dirtier than it already is.” And guess what? Just a few short years down the road, and their bathroom gets a good wipe down almost daily and embarrassingly, it’s often cleaner than our master bath which is my responsibility!
How we teach responsibility on a daily basis using the Child of the Day concept.
Over the years, I’ve implemented different things in our home, including Mom Bucks (which we loved too!), but I think my favorite one has been assigning Child of the Day duties and privileges. I got this idea from Jamie over at The Unlikely Homeschool (thanks, Jamie!), but I’ve tweaked it to fit our family and lifestyle. I’ve also adapted it at times to fit into whatever season of life we’re in at the time. Here are the basics though: Each child is assigned a day of the week (or 2 days, depending on how many children you have). I have 3 that are old enough to participate so the oldest gets Monday and Thursday, the second gets Tuesday and Friday, and the third gets Wednesday and Saturday. On their assigned days, they have a list of responsibilities to work through but also a list of privileges and perks.
Responsibilities:
- Unload dishwasher as often as necessary
- Clean up food and wipe table & counters after each meal
- Clean and tidy their bathroom
- Take out all trash
- Help plan and cook dinner
- Help out with anything that comes up and needs doing throughout the day. All I have to do is call out, “I need my helper!” and they come running! This is also an opportunity for some one on one time.
Privileges:
- Check the mail and open any packages that come in that day
- Sit next to dad at dinner and have a sip of his Coke if he’s having one
- Pray at meal times
- Making little decisions that come up throughout the day (things like picking a book for story time or coloring page for morning time, picking what color cup they want at meal time, because of course, water tastes much better out of certain colors!)
- Tuck-in time; this is a brand new addition to our nighttime routine, inspired by Jordan Page. Basically they get 15 minutes of one on one time with mom or dad after the other kids have gone to bed. It’s a great opportunity to get some alone time in with each child individually.
Having this system in place streamlines so many different things for me and it’s been so helpful! The kids know what’s expected of them and the consequences of neglecting their tasks. I’m amazed how well a stinky, overflowing trash can is able to teach a lesson! This system also eliminates a lot of sibling conflict. No more arguing over whose turn it is for this or that or who gets to pick first. It’s such a simple concept that just works so well for us, simplifies our life, and teaches some great lessons in the process.
I hope you found this post helpful in some way!
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